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Herman Cain is Gay

Sarasota Fl: Joao Cagao
Investigative reporter Howard Spear spent more than 8

weeks undercover in his attempt to confirm allegations

that Herman Cain is gay.


At a time when most of conservative America feels that

he may be the best candidate for President and with

elections looming for 2012 America wanted to know the

whole truth.

Rumors and words whispered in dark alleys, and dank men's rooms brought the reporter to Florida at the end of a long hot summer to get to the bottom of these allegations.

Disguised as an African American male and wearing a 1970's Superfly suit he strode through a mostly black neighborhood is south Sarasota.

In an attempt to mix in with the local people, he did quite a bit of high fiveing, and greeting the local men with "Yo brother! What 's happenin".

After a week of integrating himself into the hood, he met a local figure known as Big Momo at "Shaundra's Bar" on the south side.

When questioned If Herman Cain was gay, Big Momo replied "Sure, That mother (expletive removed) be gay, you wanna buy some crack?"

There was the possibility that there was a credibility issue in this case, so our investigative reporter decided to try another source for information.

Deep cover is his strong suit.

Signing himself into the Gulfside Manor Retirement Home he managed to feign senility and mingle with residents and staff until he gained their trust.

On the sixth day of the sixth week he finally got to the truth about whether Herman Cain was gay or not.

Marjory Tillotson and several residents sitting in the television room divulged the truth that after hearing Herman Cain sing on TV the agreed that he was very cheerful and quite happy and GAY!

G-A-Y ! Now the truth was known about this candidate furthering speculation about his chances in the 2012 election.

When the 97 year old blue eyed white haired Mrs.Tillotson was asked if she would vote for Herman Cain she giggled and said "Maybe if he'd come to my room at night and do me sweet I'd think about it".

With further consideration she said "Oh! Dear, what about my Depends".